My Interview with Lita
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: What happens when you do an interview with a character from Sailor Moon? Lots of insanity, that's for sure! Please R


Authors Notes - Sorry it's taken me so long to get the next installment up. I've been extremely busy with the school newspaper (I'm the editor, scary ne?), volleyball, and school in general. But anywho, here's the next part! Enjoy! Visit my site at www.geocities.com/merc1650   
  
Disclaimer - Sailor Moon is owned and operated by Naoko Takeuchi, the gazillion of paraphernalia companies who make Sailor Moon stuff, all the English owners, and all the Japanese owners. ^^  
  
  
My Interview With Lita  
  
Me: Hello everyone and welcome to another interview! After a couple of weeks to heal my injuries, I am finally ready to do some more interviews! Here today I have another average girl   
recommended to me by Raye, her name is Lita. Hello Lita!  
  
Lita: What?  
  
Me: I said hello!  
  
Lita: Oh yeah, hi. Hey, did you know that that cameraman looks like my old boyfriend Freddy?   
Only he's so much cuter than Freddy because Freddy dumped me and he's a real slob and...  
  
Me: That's nice Lita, anywho, how old are you?  
  
Lita: 14  
  
Me: That's nice, now I hear that you live all by yourself, yet you never work. How do you manage to afford an apartment and clothes and everything else that you have when you aren't even employed?  
  
Lita: My rich Uncle Franky sends me the money I need!  
  
Me: Okay... so... got a boyfriend?  
  
Lita: Uh, well I used to! His name was Freddy and I really loved him but then he dumped me   
and now he's a real creep and I want him to die and he was so cute but now he looks like a   
dishtowel that was washed in a sewer and, and, and...  
  
Me: OKAY!!! I get the idea!   
  
*Just then Serena and Mina burst through the doors*  
  
Serena and Mina: YES SHE DOES!!!  
  
Me: Oh really? Who then?  
  
Serena and Mina: HIS NAME IS KEN!!!  
  
Lita: WHAT?!?!?! KEN IS JUST A FRIEND!!!  
  
Serena and Mina: Yeah right!  
  
Lita: HE IS!!!  
  
Serena and Mina: Tell us another one!  
  
Me: *Scribbling in my notepad* go on...  
  
Serena and Mina: He's cute, he has brown hair like Lita's and he's really nice and he so totally   
loves her and...  
  
Lita: YOU TWO HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GET OUT BEFORE I BEAT YOU BOTH INTO   
BLOODY PULPS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Serena: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! LITA THREATENED MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Lita: (Yelling over Serena) SERENA CUT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mina: (Also yelling over Serena) YEAH LITA, WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?!?!?!?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lita: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Serena and Mina: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! LITA YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lita: WOULD YOU TWO TONE IT DOWN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Me: Not again...  
  
*10 minutes, 2 security guards, a Jerry Springer show scout, and a whole First-Aid kit later...*  
  
Me: We're back and ready to get on with our interview! So Lita, what's 2 + 2?  
  
Lita: What kind of a question is THAT?  
  
Me: *Sighing* just answer it.  
  
Lita: 4  
  
Me: 3 times 3?  
  
Lita: I thought this was an interview about me, not about math!  
  
Me: Just answer the stupid question!  
  
Lita: Fine, fine, fine, jeez ya don't hafta get all moody, 6.  
  
Me: THANK you! Now what's the meaning of life?  
  
Lita: Uh, 42?  
  
Me: What is chrysoprase? (Note: This is a real word I found in the dictionary!)  
  
Lita: HUH?!?!?!  
  
Me: Never mind. So how old are you again?  
  
Lita: 14 you space case!  
  
Me: Thanks, I think. So who's your favorite Sailor Scout?  
  
Lita: Uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm, I definitely have to say Sailor Jupiter.  
  
Me: Why?  
  
*Just then Serena bursts through the door for a second time dragging two security guards that are hanging onto her waist in with her.*  
  
Serena: I KNEW IT, YOU'RE FROM THE NEGAVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: OH @#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lita: Huh? Hey that security guard on Serena's left looks just like my old boyfriend Freddy, no   
he's much cuter than Freddy because Freddy dumped me and he's a real creep and this dude is   
so totally hot and...  
  
Serena: Breath Lita.  
  
Lita: *Takes a deep breath*  
  
Me: *Praying for my life*  
  
Serena: Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah! YOU'RE FROM THE NEGAVERSE AND I WON'T ALLOW IT!!! TAKE THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS...  
  
*WHAM!!!*  
*WHAP!!!*  
*WHOMP!!!*  
*DOINK!!!*  
*DIE!!!!!!!!!*  
*AAAA!!!!!*  
*I still think that guy looks like my old boyfriend...*  
*SLAM!!!*  
*BASH!!!*  
*KABOOM!!!*  
*BLAST!!!*  
  
*30 minutes, the F.B.I, the S.W.A.T. Team, 20 police officers from 3 different counties, and 5 paramedics later...*  
  
Me: (Unconscious) ...  
  
Lita: But then again Freddy DID dump me and this guy looks way too old for me so...  
  
  
The End  
  
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So, like, hate, indifferent? Tell me! I'm a huge fan of reviews, but hits on my web site at www.geocites.com/merc1650 , e-mails, IM's (I use MSN), and etc. are always welcome. By the way, I've been writing for awhile, and I've seen my fair share of flames, so don't think they won't be read or that I'll just cry over them, because they will be dealt with. 


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